What helps me…

The ways I find that helps me might not be what helps you. This is because we have all got our own ‘baggage’, we come from different backgrounds and our relationship with our own child is unique; and each mother and father of the same child has a differing connection with their son or daughter. Yes, they have many shared memories, but these too may have meant different things to each parent. This is why it is so hard to find the right copying mechanisms for everyone to use.
One of the hardest things to accept, after the death, is that no one can take the reality away from us. No matter how much we long for our child to be with us they cannot, and no one can exchange places with us so we have no choice but to endure it and try the best we can to help ourselves to deal with our bereavement.
I am sure it is possible to manage completely on our own, but for me the only way I could was by praying and demanding God’s help. I know and respect others choice to turn away from God, however I believe for me no one else could give me the solace I needed. It was about six months along my grief that I discovered The Compassionate Friends (TCF) and while I continued to find my Christian faith as my main source of comfort, they gave me a place to talk about my daughter, my pain and the many different emotions I faced daily as well as dealing with unsympathetic people who didn’t understand.

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